Finding friendships that last seems to be very hard. Most of us can remember back in our childhood days, when it seemed everyone was our friend, but as we grow those friendships fade away. Before we know it, we are all grown up and if we are lucky, we stay in touch with a few friends and if you are really lucky you have a friend that is a like a brother or sister, who you can always count on. While this is not always the case, as some of us develop strong lasting friendships later in life, it is for me. With that being said, I want to talk about the importance of having friends and especially close ones.
As you well know, life is hard and there are many trials that you are going to face in time on this earth. Going about it alone or secluded can be very depressing and very hard. I was lucky enough to have one friend who is like a brother to me and who has stuck by my side through thick and thin. Although we have not always agreed on things, and our friendship has been tested, that bond will never be broken. I lost most of my friends when I made a decision to follow Christ in my senior year of high school. Me and the group of friends I hung out with were always the life of the party. But something happened in my junior year that changed me and changed the way I would pick my friends for the rest of my life and something I still battle today. After catching one of my best friends with my girlfriend, it changed me. While I was okay on the outside, I was deeply wounded on the inside. I built a wall around me and no one was able to get in. Even in my relationships, I rarely let my guard down, always expecting the worst from them. I have come to realize now, as I look around and have no close friends to count but one, that I have destroyed so many potential close friendships, and all because of the protective wall. When people get to close, I simply push them away in one way or another.
So why am I sharing this with you? Why the long history of my life and my friendships or lack there of? Simple, most of us have some sort of wall like mine. Some are higher or more protective than others and that is hindering your growth. While it is good to some what keep your guard up, it is bad to avoid letting people in because you feel they may hurt you or let you down. Guess what, we are all humans with many flaws and we will hurt people and make mistakes, but it is through those mistakes we grow and learn from. See for me, I thought everyone was out to hurt me and therefore, I let no one in. So as a result, I have spent the last 20 years guarding something that I long to have and that I was created to have. I have deprived myself of the love and friendships that would help me grow, not only as a person, but spiritually too. Because you know what, those walls weren’t just for friends, they carried over to my relationship with my creator, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
So how do we let down the walls the hold us captive? We must start by trusting in the One who is Trust worthy and that is God. We must allow the heeling to take place within our hearts, as painful as it may be. Once that heeling takes place, and it will, we must then begin trusting in people and ask God to do the protecting and to guard us. Allowing people into your lives is key. Those relationship take time to build, but the are worth the wait. Try enjoying the time together and the bond that is being made. Don’t force a relationship, God will provide the people, as long as you are open. Should you hang out with anyone? No. You should still use your good sense about people. Some are clingie, some are downers and some are just takers. Use the discernment that God has given you without putting that wall back up. And remember this, “A true friend loves you just the way you are!”
Goal: Brake Down Those Walls Guarding Your Heart
Application: Build good strong Faith Based Friendships that can last a lifetime