Let’s face it, marriage in today’s world is being tested more than ever. With the economy, most every family has been effected by it, with busyness, all of us are going different directions, and with the internet, pornography is at an all time high. Not to mention the countless other things that cause marriages to fail, such as communication, intimacy, adultery, and the all to familiar “I just don’t love you anymore”. So I ask the question, Can God Really Save A Marriage?
The answer to that question is, Absolutely! You might think I am crazy, but my marriage is living proof that God can save any marriage. It is my prayer at this very moment, that you stop right here and pray, asking God to forgive you and asking Him to speak to your heart of hearts right now. If you are in the midst of a marriage that is on the rocks, know right now, is a turning point. You are reading this for a reason. God can, and will save your marriage, if you allow Him to. Notice, I said, Allow Him to. Keep that in mind as you read further. Some of what you are about to read maybe hard for you to handle, but I promise you that if you will do it, your life will not only be transformed, but your marriage will too.
A One Way Street
Marriage is a one way street. Yeap, I said it, one way. Not a two way street like people lead you to believe. Marriages fail everyday because of that very notation. All marriages are done before God. All marriages are a union between husband and wife, and all marriages are for better of for worse. You might say, “how does that make it a one way street?” That’s easy. The one way street should be both parties pointing in one direction… to God. If you say it is a two way street, that means both parties are always going different directions. And if that is the case, how will you ever end up in the same destination? If God is not the center of your marriage, and the direction you are going, your marriage is bound to break down at some point. Marriage is a direct reflection of our relationship with God. His is the Bride and we are His Bridegroom. His sacrifice of His one and only Son, Jesus on the Cross, shows us just how He values marriage. He knew we couldn’t keep the law, so what did He do to make sure we had every opportunity to spend eternity with Him? He sent His precious Son to die on the cross for our sins and paid the ultimate price to save His Bridegroom.
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ~ Matthew 6:33
This is the key to anything you do, that you want to have success with. Seeking God first in all we do, you can never go wrong. Does that mean you are never going to have problems? No! Does it mean you are never going to disagree or argue? No! What it does mean is that you are submitting yourself and your marriage before the Lord for Him to guide and direct your paths. This is a daily process. We must be in constant prayer for our marriages, and our spouses. The enemy is constantly looking for spot to creep up into, so always be on your guard. Seeking Him first daily is the key to that guardianship.
A Call to Husbands & Wives
Men, we are called to be the spiritual leaders of our households. That is an awesome responsibility. But what does it mean and how do we do it? This for me, this was by far the hardest thing to learn, and I am still learning it today. But what I can tell you, is that there are some basic steps to begin. One, prayer… Pray with your family. Pray with your wife. Two, Ask God to direct you on how to be a spiritual leader. I will suggest starting a weekly family devotion time. Come together as a family in prayer and studying the Word of God. And as you will notice in the scripture below, it says we are to bath our wives in the word of God. Now, what does that mean? It means that we have to not only be in the Word ourselves, it means we are to share with her what we learn and what God has shown us. It also means we are to pray with her. As well as, spending time in the Word with her.
Women, you are called to respect your husbands and honor them with submission. Does this mean you are to be a doormat, absolutely not. It simply means that you are under his authority, just as the church is under the authority of God. Ultimately he is accountable for how he leads you and your family, but in order to lead you, you must be willing to submit to him. I would also include in this… prayer. Your husband has multiple decisions everyday that effect your entire family. They are also going to be under attack from the enemy. He will try to distract them anyway he can. So be in daily prayer for Him.
Let’s look at what God’s Word says:
Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.
But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.
So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body.
FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH.
This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.
Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.” ~ Ephesians 5:21-33
To much pain
All this is great, but we are to far gone and there has been to many harsh words said and to many things done for us to ever get back to where we were before. If this is you, stop believing that lie. It is from the very pits of Hell. Satan would love nothing more, than to destroy another marriage. God can do anything. Saying He can’t save your marriage because there is to much pain, means that you are putting limits to God’s provision and His love for us. And my friend, nothing could be further from the truth. He didn’t send His Son to die and save His bridegroom for the fun of it, He did it because He loves you and me and He wanted to save us at any cost. And the same goes for your marriage. He can and will save your marriage, IF we allow Him too. It does not matter what has happened, what has not happened, whether it be adultery, lying, or money just to name a few. There is nothing that His grace and mercy can’t cover. How do I know? Because my wife and I experienced all of the above. We where on the very brink of divorce, with papers filled when God reached in and provided a miracle and saved our marriage. He not only restored it, HE TRANSFORMED IT! Our marriage is stronger and better now than I could have ever imagined. And all it took was us both surrendering, fully and completely to Him and His will for our lives. Jeremiah 29:11 says this, I have plans not to harm you, but rather plans for you to prosper”. That promise holds true for you too!
Here is the key. Both parties have to be willing to try. Just try! You have tried it on your own and it failed, so before you call it quits, just try this one last thing. I promise, you won’t regret it. GIVE IT ALL TO GOD! Both of you, get on your knees and cry out to God and ask Him to heal your marriage. Ask Him to forgive you both, ask Him to help you forgive each other, and ask Him for His promises to be fulfilled in your life and in your marriage. Will it be hard? Yes! But each time you think it is getting to hard, proclaim His promises in His Word out loud and ask Him to give you the strength. If you are willing to put down your pride, and pick up your cross, you will be transformed… not restored, but transformed! That is a promise!
Prayer: Father, I come to you today and ask you for forgiveness Lord. I need your help. I need my marriage to be transformed like only you can. Lord, I pray that you will give me the strength to try your way. I pray that your spirit will guide not only me, but my spouse as well. Father, I am asking you for you promise on my marriage and for you not only to save it, but transform it by the power of your healing hand. Amen!